Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Intense Old Dumb Guy at the Church Softball Game

Let me start out this post by pointing out that the "Intense Old Dumb Guy at the Church Softball Game" mentioned in the title of this entry is ME. I'm not sure what came over me, but lately I've been playing a tick above average and decided to take it to the next level. God was looking out for me and gave me a good dose of humility.

Our league is a recreation (or "rec") league and it's not ultra competitive. We don't even have umpires and go on the honor system. As such, there are no close calls at home. If the catcher has the ball in his or her hand or mitt and is somewhere near the plate, you are out if you've committed to going home.

So, while I had just landed on third I noticed the pitcher turning his back on me and I decided I was going to get a run. About three steps into my journey to home the pitcher noticed me and nonchalantly lobbed the ball to the only girl on the team who happened to be playing catcher. I was out as soon as she caught the ball, but for some reason I decided I needed to slide into home. I started my slide a little too early and instead of moving parallel to the ground at a slight angle, my entire body kicked upwards and over. I landed on my face with dirt in my mouth and both of my knees scraped up. Did I already mention that I was out before I even decided to slide? To make matters worse, I was still a foot away from the plate when my body stopped moving and my pants nearly slid down off of my rear end (fortunately for everyone involved, everything kept covered). Overall, it was a nice dose of humility and shame.


Steve Martin said...

You really did it this time.

I just wish we had it on video.

I can honestly say that as I read your account of 'the incident', I felt embarrassed for you.

You have got a lot of guts recounting this travesty of failed sports bravado.

The Lord loves guys like you, who will own up to their 'dumbness'.

(that's the only redeeming thing I can see in this story, other than the good laugh you gave all those who were not related to you )

jedijson said...

And that, folks, proves that God DOES spank us when we need it.

heh heh heh heh heh! That's something that would happen to me.

Arby said...

Ouch! The slide that ends a foot from the bag. Worse than an airball in hoops. I hope your knees recover!

Dorci said...

Lol. Not laughing at you, laughing with you. Excellent recounting. I still have to occasionally tease my husband mercilessly about the time he was playing in a league with our church's co-ed softball team. (He played baseball all through high school.) He hit the ball pretty good, way out in the outfield, so he was trying to get to first base, where the the first baseman, was a woman. He was running so fast and she was going to try to tag him out and he ended pushing right into her, almost knocking her down. Yeah.

Mr. E said...

Wish I could have been there to see it. I need a good laugh.

Toni said...

At least everything was covered. That IS the moral of the story (as I learned in a separate "incident" last Sunday.)

LOL, btw. This cracked me up.

Sniz said...

How come you didn't recount this story to me exactly like you did here even when I asked you about your knees?

Hunnybee said...

it happens to all of us in some way, shape or form. thanks for being humble enough to share!

Mical said...

Awesome! That is the best! Way to go!!! :D