Monday, April 21, 2008

Cleaning Up My Blog

I was looking over the last three entries of my blog and I noticed that my last three posts have been about beer, sex and poop. The only way I can go from here is up, right?

So, I thought I'd lay out a few bible verses to clean things up a bit. I hope you enjoy them:

"Come," each one cries, "let me get wine! Let us drink our fill of beer! And tomorrow will be like today, or even far better." (Isaiah 56:12)

How handsome you are, my lover!
Oh, how charming!
And our bed is verdant. (Song of Solomon 1:16)

Designate a place outside the camp where you can go to relieve yourself. 13 As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement. (Deuteronomy 23:12-13)
There. That's better.

WARNING: THERE'S AN EVEN MORE GRAPHIC VERSE IN THE COMMENTS. BUT IT'S REAL--RIGHT OUT OF THE NIV TEXT.

11 comments:

elephantschild said...

a) Keep that man away from any seminaries, he's dangerous.

or:

b) Give the man a scholarship to a seminary: he's gonna be the most relevant preacher the world's ever seen!

Stretch Mark Mama said...

Psalm 1-2 Please, God, no more yelling, no more trips to the woodshed. Treat me nice for a change; I'm so starved for affection.

Just a personal favorite lately.

Maybe you could add some VIOLENCE to your blog as well.

Rebekah said...

ROFLOLOLOL!

Mayhem And Miracles said...

All I can offer to this is laughter. That was funny!

scott said...

I'll admit I had to look up "verdant." This is what I found for the definition:

"Green with vegetation; covered with green growth."

Sweet. I grow broccoli in my bed, personally.

I wonder what the original Hebrew was for that...

Mr. E said...

Great clean up job! Hey, check out what God is doing in my old high school...visit my latest blog for an incredible story.

eally said...

Your wit cracks me up! Been missing your posts lately....

JAM said...

Much better, I was getting worried about you.

Being from Louisiana I was shocked to find this verse, Deuteronomy 14:21 in the New International Version
Do not eat anything you find already dead.

I had to stop eating road kill stew after reading that.

Scott said...

Amen.
Preach it!

someone you know said...

Ezekiel 23:20 (NIV)
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
This is my "favorite" bible verse.

Big Doofus said...

Oh my. I cannot believe that I didn't know about that verse. It's really there--otherwise I wouldn't allow this comment on my blog.