Monday, December 24, 2007

Excuse Me, Sir...Do You Work Here?

If I am ever in just about any retail store by myself, I am often plagued by the following question, "Excuse me, you work here?" It happened just the other night when Miss Sniz and I were shopping at Meijer.

It's innocent enough, I guess. At least they're asking me if I work here before they start asking specific questions. On rare occasions, I'll have some lady ask me where she can find the muffin mix or the Muffin Man (ANSWER: Drury Lane) or the French Fried Onions.

So, why is it that I have this look about me that says, "This guy works here," to people? I used to think it was because I look young for my age. But even if that's true, it's not like these stores are exclusively filled with young whipper-snappers. Just walk into a Wal-mart sometime and you'll see what I mean.

The question is, what should I do about this? For years, I've been doing my best to avoid it. Even if I'm just running in to pick up a single item that I can easily carry around the store, I make it a point to grab a cart or at least one of those annoying shopping baskets that you can never figure out how to hold.

I'll also go out of my way to dress like I don't work here...or get what I'm saying. If you have the same problem (is there anyone else out there who can identify with this?), heed my advice and don't wear khakis and a plain red or blue shirt. This screams, "I'm an hourly employee!!!!" at places like Wal-Mart, Target, K-Mmart, Meijer, Lowes, etc. (NOTE: There's nothing wrong with working at any of these places. I did it in the past and I'd do it again. Honest work is honest work, folks.)

But lately, I've been trying to work up the courage to take a new approach. The next time some poor confused woman asks me, "Excuse me, you work here?" I want to say, "You betcha I do. What can I do for you?" And then I want to have a little fun.

"Where can I find the Chex Mix?"

"Chex Mix?!?!?!? We don't carry that any longer, ma'am--ever since the big explosion last year," will be my reply. When she looks even more confused, I'll just start crying and I'll run away from her as fast as I can.


Toni said...

>>>Chex Mix?!?!?!? We don't carry that any longer, ma'am--ever since the big explosion last year,"<<<

Lol! I worked with a guy in Pittsburgh who used to make announcements in our airline's gate area, like this;
"Welcome to USAirways flight 269, service to Atlanta. For those who haven't done so, please do so now."

Suddenly, the boarding area was buzzing with,
"Oh my, Harry. We didn't do it."
"Do what, Ethel?"
"Why,..I don't knoOOow! We'd better do it though so we don't miss out." :D

Btw, when I worked on the ticket counter at USAirways (right next to Delta's counter), it used to greatly baffle me when someone would say, "Do you work for Delta?"
Really, you'd think the 7 foot tall USAIRWAYS letters behind me might give a lil' clue. Or not.

Mr. E said...

Merry Christmas to you and your family! -- ME & Family!

Scott said...

Merry Christmas, Doofus!

May your day be merry and bright.

Uvulapie said...

Not to rat anyone out but the last time I visited I definitely remember your boy sticking a postit note on your back that said "Hourly Employee" and then snickering.

Mayhem And Miracles said...

I got that this year too. And I was wearing a pink fuzzy sweater pushing a cart FULL of groceries and had two of my three kiddos with me! The guy was only about 50 so if senility was the issue - he's got a long haul ahead of him. I really hate it when I'm the one who ASKS the non-employee! I want to stamp "sorry - I'm imperceptive and dumb" on my forehead.