Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Gifts for Brides and Babies!

If you've ever experienced the sheer transcendent bliss that is riding with me in my 1996 Honda Accord LX with over 200,000 miles, you know that I'm in need of some new interior door handles. For some reason unknown to Japanese automobile engineers the passenger side front handle and the driver side rear handle broke at about the same time. I've been looking around online for replacement parts with only a moderate degree of success. While experiencing some trouble figuring out one company's web site, I decided to call their toll free number. Once I had it figured out, I told the customer service representative that I'd just go ahead and order it on my own from the web site. He cautioned me that it was in my best interest to order on the phone because of "blah, blah, blabbity blah meow, meow butterpants." Twice I told him, "rear, driver side, door handle in beige" and he would repeat back to me, "rear passenger side in black." I'd had enough and told him I would order online. Can you believe that he still tried to get me to stay on the phone for the order? Sorry, bud. Too late. You've proven how inept you are. CLICK.

But, alas I finally found what I was looking for on (obviously, they sell a LOT more than books these days). I thought it was somewhat entertaining that amazon gives me the option to add a "94-97 HONDA ACCORD FRONT DOOR HANDLE" to a Wedding Registry and/or Baby Registry. Nothing says, good luck to the happy couple like car parts--and very specific car parts at that. And what baby wouldn't want to chew on a "94-97 HONDA ACCORD FRONT DOOR HANDLE" as a comforting pacifier?

Just for fun I thought I'd try this out on some other products available at to see if I would be given the option to add them to Wedding and Baby Registries. Sure enough, I was able to do so with the following:

  • Rat & Mouse Poison
  • Dandruff Shampoo
  • Whitney Farms Chicken Manure
  • etc.
I'm not posting some of the ideas I had on this blog (use your imagination). Obviously, it's an automatically generated feature of that can seem amazingly inappropriate.


shay said...

ha ha ha!
Maybe a baby living is a rat infested house would need the rat poison? Maybe, who knows!

Oh and I think making your kid walk so you can stay in bed makes perfect sense to me lol.

Sniz said...

I don't understand what your problem is with rat poison now. You seemed to have no problem with leaving it around the house when the babies were born. Hey wait a minute.

Wani said...

sweet! I'm sure Isaac would have registered for stuff like that just to be crazy.
BTW... we didn't talk about breastfeeding on our first date... technically we didn't even go on a real "date" until after we were engaged because we maintained that we were "just friends" until we decided to get married. I don't know what we were thinking... I just hope our kids don't do things the way we did!

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

That is hilariously inappropriate! I wonder what kind of things I could freak people out by putting on a list?

Rebekah said...

too bad you wont have the oppurtunity to acutally post these items on a registry... wait a minute. You could sneak in a few of these when your kids get married.
Oops, I may have just given you a very bad idea that your kids may never forgive. ;)