Friday, April 24, 2009

Cough, Sniff or Clear Throat - Know It

I have a few ladies that read this blog, so I've decided to let them in on a little known men's bathroom code. I'm not talking about which urinal to use when a guy walks into the bathroom. That's been highly publicized. If you're the only one peeing and you have the entire row to choose from, you're safe to pick any urinal, but you're smart to take one on either end. If you walk in and see someone on one end (a smart guy), you always take the other end. The bottom line is that you never pee next to someone unless you have no choice. I'm pretty sure it's the law here in Indiana, but I'd have to check to make sure.

What I want to bring up is the automatic cough, sniff or throat clearing that one does when he's the only man in the bathroom and he's not at the urinal (if you know what I mean) when someone else walks in. It's very important that you cough, sniff (note that this has nothing to do with trying to smell anything), or clear your throat when you're in there all alone and someone else walks in. This sends a message: "There's someone else in here. Don't think that you're alone in the bathroom and can do anything you want or make any noise you want to make." Trust me, the last thing any guy wants is to be in the room when another thinks he's all by himself.

Men, you probably know what I'm talking about.


Arby said...

Oh, the stories I could tell...but you wouldn't post one of them.

penguinsandladybugs said...

I'm just curious....what would a man do if he thought he was all by himself in a public bathroom?

Big Doofus said...

That's what I'm hoping to avoid learning firsthand.

Scott said...

What guys do in our bathroom at work when they think no one else is there is...They turn off the light when they leave, and I'm stuck on the commode in pitch black! So I don't just cough now, I boldy say, "Welcome to the crapper." It often prompts them to use another bathroom altogether.
For you ladies, it'd not be uncommon for a guy to make all manner of grunting and heaving sighing and gas emitting if no one else is around. That goes for everywhere, not just the after hours at the Sistine Chapel or in a voting booth.

Elephantschild said...

Good grief, and here I thought
female social entanglements were complicated!

(Dear Lord: thank you for making me a girl.)

hunnybeemay said...

Penguinsandladybugs: Perhaps a 'Dog and Pony Show'? I'm just as confused.

Rebekah said...

Since you brought up pee, I have a question.
Why do men spit in the toilet just before they pee? (sometimes the spit my be during or after)

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

Hee hee hee, my hubby loves to share these tidbits with me, you make me laugh:D

Toni said...

You know, it's always kinda wigged me out, the whole urinal thing. I mean,...who decided to design men's 'throoms that way? Gotta be the same GUY who designed the two-holer outhouse, yes?
As if.
I'm just sayin'.