Thursday, February 14, 2008


Scott over at Honey, I Fed the Kids decided to share his version of how he met his wife. So, I will now present my version of how Scott met his wife. Wait, I have no idea how he met his wife. I've never even met his wife. I've never met Scott. So, I'll just guess that...they...met at one of their monthly club meetings as high ranking members of the Antique Barbed Wire Society. Done!

Yes, I'm stealing Scott's idea. Sue me. So, without any further adieu I will now share my version of how I met my wife, the lovely MISS SNIZ. I've changed some of the names and I know I'm breaking all kinds of literary rules by changing the point of view a few times. But it's still my version of the story. Enjoy!


It was a classic blind date. Bruce and William, a pair of friends, both pastors in different parts of Indiana, had attended the same church as young adults, went to the same bible college, and even graduated from the same seminary. Over the years they stayed in touch via an occasional phone call and letters from the office. Bruce had the luxury of a full-time assistant named Roger--a young man who had recently converted and spent half of his time working with the youth group and the rest as Bruce's administrative assistant. Sometimes, Roger would even type out some of the brief "personal" letters to William, which would turn out to be ironic later on.

William had a pair of very fine daughters, one of which was named Andrea. Bruce's wife and their oldest daughter, Karen, were on a mission to "fix up" Andrea with one of their church's eligible bachelors. Mick was tall and thin with chiseled features. He was an athlete and a teacher. He was smart and delved into politics. He was handsome and well-liked by everyone. Mick was perfect for Andrea.

Karen called Andrea with the idea and she agreed to meet him. Sure, she was in an on-again, off-again relationship with a guy, but she was also getting ready for a major career move that would have her soon traveling the globe. She had nothing to lose.

Karen moved forward with making the arrangements but somehow the details just couldn't come together. This perfect fix-up for Andrea just wasn't going to happen. She was supposed to come up for church and lunch with Pastor William's family to meet Mick, but Mick would not be there. The resourceful Karen came up with a "Plan B". As long as Andrea was making the two and a half hour trip up north, there might as well be someone sitting in that seat for her to meet.

Andrea managed to get to church on time and sat somewhere near the front, next to Karen. Karen pointed him out. He was seated in the front row with the high school youth group kids. But she had a hard time figuring out which one was the "kid" and which one was supposed to be Karen's idea of an ideal (albeit "Plan B") blind date. He was the one with the long blond mullet (shut up, it was cool back in 1991!).

They both sat through the service and headed to Pastor Bruce's home for dinner. Dinner at Pastor Bruce's house was a regular event for Roger since he first started attending the church three years ago. He was taken in by Bruce's family and always felt at home. So, it wasn't out of his comfort zone to be seated at the table across from her. He had never met her, but on many occasions he had talked to her dad and even written him letters. He even met William and his wife at Bruce's son's wedding a year earlier.

Nothing much happened during or after the dinner. There was some chit chat and the the two noticed one another, but that was about the extent of it. They both had plenty of things going on in their lives.

Roger certainly thought Andrea was attractive, but he didn't have much luck with women. It was basically a series of, "I just want to be friends" episodes to the point where he had given up. However, he preferred to paint the picture in spiritual overtones and insist that God didn't want him to be involved with a woman at this time in his life. It sounded better that way when he saw his other friends in relationships. And over time, he had actually come to believe it. He was living at home, single and able to focus everything on his ministry.


Well, it would have been the end if not for the persistence of Karen. She managed to prod them both enough that Roger finally got on the phone and called up Andrea. They talked briefly and agreed to meet at Pastor Bruce's house in a few weeks to go on a real date. Honestly, I don't know if either of them were really excited about going on this date, but it worked out with their schedules and they managed to come up with a time.

Roger showed up early in the evening and made himself at home. He and Bruce talked about theology, politics, IU basketball--standard fare for the house. Andrea was still getting ready. When she finally came out, Roger could hardly believe his eyes. Yes, he had met Andrea before, but he didn't remember just how beautiful she was. She walked out in white jeans with a pink floral pattern and a complimentary silk choral shirt and put on a small black leather coat. He was thrilled. Sure, this would be the only time she'd go out with him (or so he thought), but at least Roger could tell all of his friends that he had one date with a really hot chick.

They headed out for dinner at Cheddar's Casual Cafe. Roger didn't think he liked cucumbers so he gave them to Andrea. They talked...and talked...and talked. After dinner the "couple" headed out to meet Mr. Uvulapie who was attending the same bible college that Bruce and William had attended a generation ago (actually Andrea's mother also attending the school). They were having an "Ugly Pants Contest" in one of the student areas and the two stopped by to meet and talk. Then it was off to drive by the Youth For Christ building. Roger also volunteered for YFC and the group had been very influential in his new faith. Plus it was a long way from the bible college campus, which meant more time to talk.

It was very late. When it was finally over, Roger walked Andrea to Bruce's front door which was unlighted and, thus, very dark. She managed to figure out which key opened the lock and the date was over. And while both of them went into the evening thinking it would be a brief, one-off kind of evening (perhaps a way of getting Karen off of their backs), it ended with each one contemplating that this could be the start of something quite significant.

Roger also figured out that he really likes cucumbers but is still willing to part with them from time to time.

Happy Anniversary, Miss Sniz! I love you.


Mayhem And Miracles said...

Awwwwww! How sweet that you were willing to put this out there as a guy! Very romantic. I'll bet this will make Miss Sniz very frisky. :) How great that two sweet people found each other and even eventually learned how to look snazzy without the use of Rebok hightops, perms and mullets. (Sorry, but one absolutely HAS to tease the 80's chic, because we've all been there and latered wondered "Why?") Happy Valentine's Day to both of you!

Big Doofus said...

The were NOT high tops.

I went back and read this again. If anyone managed to get through it all, nicely done. While I think I'm good at spouting it out brief bits of witty prose, a short story is not my natural strength.

Me said...


Scott said...

I'm mostly interested in the back-story on the complimentary silk choral shirt.
As president of our Concert Choir in college, I had to keep an eye on our budget; we seldom gave away free shirts, silk or otherwise.

Sorry I haven't emailed back yet, by the way. I'm still running background checks on the freaks you mentioned in your email. But rest assured, we WILL meet someday.

Toni said...

Any guy who remembers what his wife wore on their first date is a a guy totally and completely in love forever and ever, Amen. What a wonderful V-Day post.

Uvulapie said...

Great story! I think I still have those lime green pants in a box in the attic. They don't fit me any more but I still like GORDON frozen fish products.

Rebekah said...

I hopped over from Miss Sniz to get the 'male' point if view on 'how we met'

I didn't plan on getting blinded by you white legs

Big Doofus said...

For the record, I think that picture was taken in May. It may have been my first "shorts outing' of the season. Notice that Sniz is shortless--so to speak.

JAN said...

I loved this story! I think it's sweet and romantic that you would take the time to post it. As you know, we women love words, words, words!
I agree with Toni, by the way. It is amazing that you remember what Sniz wore on your first date.

Big Doofus said...

Scott - My wife had to point out the fact that I typed "choral" shirt instead of "coral" shirt and you were making fun of me for it. I guess that's what I get for trying to come up with one of the Non-Man Colors--which would be a good idea for another post...

scott said...

Best picture ever. And just so you know, I'll always remember you looking *exactly* like you do in that picture.

Even when you're, like, 80.