Stop Driving Like An Idiot

IF YOU'RE TIRED OF PEOPLE DRIVING LIKE IDIOTS, THIS POST IS FOR YOU
IF YOU'RE CURRENTLY DRIVING LIKE AN IDIOT, THIS POST IS FOR YOU


And, just in case you have any questions as to whether or not I'm serious about this, let me quote Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite:

"Oh, I'm dead serious."

Ok America (and Canada), it's time to share the road like responsible adults. I'm going to push this pretty hard for a while. Call it a soapbox. Call it a lone voice in the wilderness. I don't care. Here goes...

I have about a 45-50 minute commute to work (one way) every day. I see the best and worst of the drivers that share the road with me. For the most part--it's the worst. I know that in the past, I've driven like an IDIOT--but I stopped. As a result, it's drastically reduced my stress level in the mornings, I'm saving a lot of money on gas, I doubt that I'll be getting many traffic tickets, and I'M SAFE (which makes other safe).

I'm asking the rest of you to join with me. I'm just sick and tired of dealing with it and I don't know what else to do. Join me. If you're not driving like an idiot now--great. Spread the word to others. If you are driving like an idiot, repent. We will forgive you. Stop driving like an idiot and share the joy with others.

IF WE ALL STOP DRIVING LIKE IDIOTS HERE'S WHAT WE CAN EXPECT:
Safer roads.
Saving money on gas.
Less stress.
An end to war and starvation*

*Ok, maybe those things won't end, but I think that the way we drive is a reflection of what's going on in our hearts. When your mission on the road is to get to wherever you're going as fast as possible--regardless of the other drivers in the road--you're reflecting just how selfish you are. My experience tells me that this selfishness will be reflected in the rest of the things you do.


RULES OF THE ROAD

(I'll update this list as I think of new things to add or you give me ideas)

1. Drive the Speed Limit - Yes. You heard me correctly. You don't have to speed. If you are constantly running late and "feel the need for speed" get your own fighter jet or, better yet, adjust your schedule accordingly. When you drive fast, it endangers others. In many cases, you also use more fuel when you drive fast.



2. Use the Right Lane - Speeding is speeding, so I'm not sure that the law will back you up on the "fast lane" notion we have in our country. However, it only makes sense to get into the right (as in "opposite of left") lane and allow the yay-hoos to go around you. If we work hard enough at this, there will be less yay-hoos to worry about.

3. STOP TAILGATING - Not only is it annoying, it's very dangerous. Note: I'm not talking about what you do when you arrive three hours before the start of a football game.



4. Don't Drive Angry - That's a quote from one of my favorite movies, Groundhog Day. If someone IS driving like an idiot, it's not your job to correct them. Let them go on their way.




5. Two Lane Round-a-Bouts Are Not Passing Opportunities - This is a very specific one based on something that happened to me yesterday. The person who gets to the round-a-bout first should have the right to enter the round-a-bout first. Let him or her go and THEN you can enter.



6. Be Considerate - If you see someone using a turn signal because they need to get into your lane, see if there's a safe way that you can accommodate them. You'd like it if they did the same for you. Don't guard your place in line by speeding up. When you do that you're driving like an idiot.


7. Don't Cut - This goes back to grade school, folks. You don't cut in line just because you can get away with it. Imagine that you're in the check out lane of a grocery store and you see a little space between two people ahead of you. Would you simply shove your way into the space with your cart and ignore the others around you? Sometimes, things happen and you have to find your way onto a lane (see #5). When that happens, use your signal and be considerate.


8. Consider Your Cell Phone Use - I'm not convinced that using cell phones while on the road is flat out wrong for everyone. But you know who you are. If you cannot have a conversation and drive at the same time, pick just one thing to do and leave the rest of us alone. Like I said, you know who you are.

9. It's Not a Racetrack - If you're finding that your NASCAR viewing is affecting the way you drive, pick another sport. Actually, I'm an IndyCar guy, but I will not get into that here.


10. Obey Special Speed Zones - School Zones and Construction Zones are designed to keep people safe--not to tick you off. Slow down accordingly. Furthermore, when someone in front of you slows down to adhere to a special speed zone, don't get irate with them (you know who you are, angry man in the black truck from two days ago!). They're just obeying the law. You have no right to get upset with them.



11. Slow Down In Neighborhoods - You were a kid once. You may have kids now. They run around in the neighborhoods, so low down. Ok, look at it this way. Imagine how horrible you'd feel if you kid a kid with your car. For that reason alone, you should slow down.

That's it for now. I'm sure this is one of the longest posts I've ever written, but I'll keep adding to it as necessary. I'm serious about this and I think you should be, too. Spread the word. Send others to my stupid post to read it for themselves. Use the dumb graphic that I created (above). Start driving safely and courteously. It's worth it.

Here's the link to the page you are on (in case you cannot figure it out for yourself):
http://bigdoofus.blogspot.com/2007/12/stop-driving-like-idiot.html

Attention To Details

Have you noticed that people today just don't seem to care whether or not they spell proper nouns correctly--e.g. names, cities, streets, etc? However, you'd think that details like this would be important in some areas of retail. Let's say your company makes something that is then delivered directly to someone's home. If there's ONE THING you'd want to get right, it's the address--the numbers and the letters. Otherwise, you're not going to get there--even with the greatest GPS system on the market.

I was reminded of this today when one of my best pals handed me a receipt from a delivery made to his house. It took the delivery person quite a while to get there as he didn't know that my friend lived on AUTUMN Harvest Dr. and not what was written on the receipt (and in the words of Dave Berry, "I'm not making this up.")...

Cheer Up, Miss Sniz

Today's blog entry goes out to my lovely wife, Miss Sniz who has been feeling a little down the past few days. If the sun would just peek out today (I cannot remember the last time we saw it here) that would make her very happy. Below are a few things that make her feel good. I love you, Miss Sniz!

This is How We Watch TV

Sometimes, you're really into a show that you're watching on TV--so much that you're not even paying attention to the fact that you're sitting in a very strange position...on the coffee table...when there's a perfectly useful couch only a foot away from your posterior.

NOTE: I wasn't trying to take a picture that would embarrass my daughter--hence the "oops" block. It's also a bit blurry, but I only had one chance to snap this image. I just thought it was interesting that she was in the living room, watching the television this way. Furthermore, it should go without saying that she was watching something wholesome, stimulating and educational.

Saying Goodbye to An Old Friend

Yesterday I said goodbye to an old friend. This buddy of mine was with me from my later days in elementary school all the way through high school when I got my license. For the past 16 years, this pal has hung out in the garage.

I had two bikes growing up as a kid. The first one was a Sears brand dirt bike. It was black and I rode the wheels off of it. At some point in the 4th or 5th grade, I saved up some money and bought this gently used (it was at the time) blue Schwinn from a friend of a friend. I trekked a ton of miles on it. I only wish I had an odometer on it to see just how many. In my mind, I would imagine that I put, literally, 10,000 miles on it. My ride from the old house to school was ten miles alone and then the ride to Jeff's (my best friend) was another five miles on top of that. Since I hung out at his house all the time, I was putting 30 mile round trips on that thing regularly.

...at least, that's what I thought. Earlier this year I went back and looked up exactly how many MILES I was traveling to school. It turned out to be a little less than a half of a mile. That trip to Jeff's might have been a mile--maybe.

But who cares how many miles I put on this bike. It was a great bike. I kept it hanging in the garage of our new house from the time we moved in, convinced that someday I'd clean it up and give it the respect it deserved, but yesterday I finally threw it into the van and took it to Goodwill. I hope someone enjoys it.

Ask Izzi

Whenever anything in our house turns up missing, the first thing that we do, if at all possible, is ASK IZZI. Izzi is our youngest. It's not that she's the one who loses things and we're blaming her. She has this amazing ability to categorize where things are in her mind. Even if she doesn't immediately know where it is, she puts it in her cute little brain somewhere and, in many cases, finds whatever it is that we're looking for later. She's located missing school work, keys, glasses (not the kind you drink out of), remote controls, books, you name it.

So, I thought I'd open this up to anyone who reads my blog. If you've lost something (but not "That Lovin' Feelin'"), just ASK IZZI. I'll forward the request on to her and I'll give you her advice.

How can you resist?

Making the Most of Your Starbucks Visit

Okay, so I know that I dumped on Starbucks in my last post, but I genuinely like the place. They have become so big that they're an easy target these days, but I think they have a great product. With that in mind, I've developed a few tricks of the trade to make sure that you get the most of your Starbucks experience.

First, know your cup sizes. This has been discussed way too many times in popular media for me to attempt to be original, so I'll just state the facts:

Tall = Small
Grande = Medium
Venti = Large
Loco = 55 gallon drum



Starbucks Trick #1 - Just say, "No" to Loco
Don't order the "Loco" size unless you're really thirsty and have about five days worth of work you want to catch up on in just five hours (or, if you've given up sleep for lent).

Starbucks Trick #2 - Small Portion in Bigger Cup

If you like to add cream, milk, ice cubes, whatever--order a smaller size cup of coffee in a bigger glass. Believe it or not, the Starbucks people are ready for this trick. Otherwise, if you order a Tall cup of coffee, the Starbucks attendant might ask, "Would you like me to leave room for cream?" This can be translated as, "Would you like me to purposefully short you on your order so I can resell it to the next customer?" It's brilliant on their part, but you can easily get around this by saying, "I'd like a Tall cup of coffee in a Grande glass." Suddenly, you're a genius. Not only do you get all of the coffee you paid for, you're also getting a few extra cubic inches of paper coffee cup--at no cost!

Starbucks Trick #3 - Bigger Portion in Smaller Cup

Here's where it gets fun. Once you've proven to your local barista that you know your way around a cup of coffee with Starbucks Trick #2, you throw this one at them. Step up to the counter and say, "I'd like a Grande coffee in a Tall Cup" (i.e. I'd like a medium coffee in a small cup). Sure, you end up wasting about a half cup of coffee, but you get to watch Peppy pour it all over his hands while suffering only mild injuries that Starbucks' generous insurance premiums will cover. He'll be back behind the counter in six to eight weeks.

Bad Start to the Day

Today didn't start off too well. Every morning I get up and make French Press coffee for me and Miss Sniz. She pours hers. I pour mine, and then I take my cup with me in the car for my long commute. Well, today I managed to leave my steaming cup of perfection (yes, it's that good) at home and had to stop at Starbucks.

If I'm going to get coffee while I'm out, Starbucks is the one place I can usually count on for a good cup, prepared correctly (I'm a coffee snob). But today, things didn't go so well. The guy behind the counter was much too busy taking care of some microwaved "meal" for another customer to deal with me. So, this other fella steps up to the register to help out. First off, he was way too peppy--like he'd been freebasing the espresso or something. My Starbucks order (see the other post from today) is simple--I don't mess around much with fancy drinks. I like good coffee in a cup with some sugar in the raw and half-and-half. I knew that my coffee day wasn't going to get much better when I saw "Peppy" tipping the coffee machine at an angle to pour my cup. I went ahead and fixed it the way I liked and headed off to work. By the time I got down to the last quarter of the cup, I noticed that a thick black slurry of fine grounds had taken over my coffee. I'm not so "foo-foo" that I can't stand a ground or two in my java, but this bean paste was more than I could handle.

Final score COFFEE GREMLINS: 2 - ME: 0