There's an old adage that goes, "You can't judge a book by it's cover." BULLPUCKY! You can judge a book by a cover and I will. If covers were meaningless then you'd think the book industry would save a boatload of money and utilize generic names...and generic titles, for that matter. Why not just assign numbers to books and post the number on a plain white cover using the Ariel font with a brief explanation of the contents. It might look something like this:
This will be the first installment of what I will call "Book Cover Reviews" where I...JUDGE BOOKS SOLELY BY THE COVERS. I have no plans to read these books as I'm way too busy writing blogs and watching TV (or reading other books). Let's get things started with this little gem: It's Michael Pollan's bestseller, Food Rules: An Eater's Manual.
Here's what the book has to say about itself according to amazon.com:
A pocket compendium of food wisdom-from the author of The Omnivore's Dilemma and In Defense of FoodAmericans are obsessed with eating and the guilt that goes along with it. We probably waste more money on food and guilt-based exercise than any other country in the world. Imagine what we could do if we all ate sensibly and used our leftover money to help out those in need of agricultural resources and food. This book has one simple rule about food:
Michael Pollan, our nation's most trusted resource for food-related issues, offers this indispensible guide for anyone concerned about health and food. Simple, sensible, and easy to use, Food Rules is a set of memorable rules for eating wisely, many drawn from a variety of ethnic or cultural traditions. Whether at the supermarket or an all-you-can-eat-buffet, this handy, pocket-size resource is the perfect guide for anyone who would like to become more mindful of the food we eat.
1. Eat peas. Moreover, eat giant translucent peas, pea pod and all.
That's all you need to know. Giant translucent pea pods are hard to come by. In fact, they are so rare that you'll be lucky to eat--which means you'll keep the weight off due to the constant foraging and the rare occasion that you find one. These pea pods are humongulous and it's safe to assume that one giant pea will be enough for one person to eat off for days. Moreover, the actual pod is also edible and should satiate the needs of a pea pod clan for an additional time period.
I didn't know Michael Pollan before I reviewed his book without reading it, but I know him now (sort of) and I trust him. This pea pod idea is pure genius. The only other issue to deal with is the penguin on the bottom left corner of the cover. I assume that these penguins also hunt for giant pea pods--or, perhaps they are abundant in Antarctica. Once global warming sets in the world will be rich in giant translucent pea poddy goodness (that sounds funny).
One last note: I'd like to thank The Elephant's Child who unknowingly gave me this stupid idea.