Monday, September 29, 2008

Goodbye Work Forever!!!!

That's right. I'm quitting my job today and telling everyone that they can kiss my foot because I just won the "CANADIAN INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY"...or, maybe it's the "WESTERN CANADIAN LOTTERY (LOTTO LORE) UNITED KINGDOM." I can't figure it out, but I know that I won it and I won big because I got the e-mail letter today. Who would have thought? I don't even remember entering it. Here's the "proof":

CANADIAN INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY INC.2008.
Western Canadian Lottery (Lotto lore)
United Kingdom

Dear Winner,

We happily announce to you the result of the National Lotto 6/49 lottery draws Held on Mon ,Sept 29th 2008- Lotto 6/49 , in Essex United Kingdom and Ontario, Canada. All participants were selected randomly from World Wide Web site through computer draws system and extracted from over 10,000,00 companies and personal e-mail addresses. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number: B9564 7560 4545 100 with serial number 046560 drew the winning numbers 5- 21 -35-38 -47 -45 Bonus 43,You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of US$820,000.00 in cash=2 0credited to file EAAL/9080118308/04. Please note that your lucky winning numbers fall within our African booklet representative office in AFRICA as indicated in your play coupon. In view of this, your US$820,000.00 would be released to you by an accredited commercial Bank in Africa.

Thanks, for quick and urgent release of your fund, fill this informations below and contact our claims agent is as
FullName:…………………
Contact address:……………
Phone numbers:……………
Dirth of birth:………………..
Age:…………………………
Nationality:… …………….
Occupations:………………..
Winning numbers:………….

Contact information of our claims agent is as Follow: -
Name: MR.PELL CHRIS
Email: verification.office31@yahoo.com
Tel: +2348036531971.
Yours Sincerely, Mrs. Cathrine Hall Customer Service : 680 NCA 85914
Since I'm such a big winner now (notice that the letter was addressed, "Dear Winner") I figure that I need a nickname other than "Big Doofus." So, I'm going to go with "Dirth of Birth."

8 comments:

Mr. E said...

Oh, yea, well the President of some weird African country is trusting me to take care of millions of his countries dollars!

I hate those e-mails don't you; however, they do keep my SPAM e-mail folder something to do.

4Me2Know said...

Hey, major CONGRATS!!! You're just lucky like this. And please, remember who your friends are.

I'm also thinking that those in your inner circle need to be known by a particular name too. Like,... Doofai.

"Oh, look. There's Big Doofus,...er,...Dirth of Birth and his posse, the Doofai."

In fact, I'm heading out right now to get all my records updated.
Nationality: Doofai.
Blessings,
~Toni~

Scott said...

I am so incredibly happy for you!!!!
I got your message a while back about how I don't comment anymore. Mainly, it was because you didn't have enough money to be of any benefit to me. But NOW...this changes everything. I look forward to talking with you about an investment opportunity, dear dear wonderful friend.

Big Doofus (Roger) said...

Scott:

Thanks for the kind words. I'm going to give you 10% of everything I get from the Canadian International Lottery as soon as the check comes in.

But seriously, it's good to hear from you.

Hunny Bee said...

Hey Congratulations on 'winning' the 'lottery'. (I don't know if the quotation marks are gramatically necessary but they seemed appropriate under the circumstance).

Anyhoo, when you respond to the email don't forget to include your social security number and the account number for whatever bank account you want your money wired to. If you do that it will speed up the delivery of your money.

At least that's what they told me when I won the Nigerian Lottery a few years back. I'm still waiting for the check, but geez....think how how long it would have took if I hadn't given them all my personal information. I'd probably NEVER get my money!!! I'm no fool though. One more payment is all they need to finish the paperwork, then I'll be rich!!!

Rebekah said...

Woohoo- congratulations you lucky dog.

but to be real- it would totally surprise you at the number of intelligent people that buy into this crap. Its Shocking!

J.P. Butterfield said...

Hey Doof,

I WON TOO!! Check this out:

MICROSOFT PROMOTION
Award Team Microsoft company
20 Craven Park, Harlesden London NW10 United Kingdom Batch No: 409978E Ref No: BTD/988/04 Winning No: W77450T

ATTENTION: WINNER,

The prestigious Microsoft/MSN has set out and successfully organized a Sweepstakes For the year 2008 anniversary. And have rolled out over £300,000,000.00 for this year Anniversary Draws. Participants for the draws were randomly selected and drawn from a wide range of web hosts which we enjoy their patronage.

The MICROSOFT 2008 PROMOTIONS was held on 25 of AUGUST 2008 in Brockley, London United Kingdom.Your email address has therefore been approved to claim a total sum of (£1M) One million British Pounds in cash credited to File KPC/9030108308/03.

To file for your claim, please contact your Claim Agent immediately.
Name: MR.BILLY SCOTT
Tel: 0044 703 186 2551
Email: [ billyscott2@hotmail.com ] ( billyscott3@live.com )
AWARD SPONSORS MICROSOFT TEAM CORPORATION.

FILL THE INFORMATION BELLOW AND SEND IT TO YOUR CLAIM AGENT (MR.BILLY SCOTT) AT THE ABOVE EMAIL ADDRESS.

A)--FULL NAMES:
B)--AGE:
C)-- PRESENT CONTACT ADDRESS:
D)-- COUNTRY OF ORIGIN:
E)--COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE:
F)-- SEX:
G)--YOUR WINNING SERIAL AND REF. NO.:
H)-- WINNING EMAIL ADDRESS:
I)--COMPANY:
J)--OCCUPATION:
(K)--TEL:

Finally, you are advised to keep all your winning information away from the public for your safety and security. GONGRATULATIONS !!!

Wow! Think I'll go to McDonald's or something.

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