My Opinions on Paper Towels - America Wants to Know!

I participate in regular online surveys from Harris Poll. It's usually nothing all that eventful and takes up just a little bit of my time every week or so. Plus, when I fill out enough stupid surveys, I can earn free stuff. But imagine my surprise today when I got the following invitation:

We're interested in getting your thoughts and opinions regarding paper towels.

Finally! Someone wants to know what I REALLY think about paper towels. I've been waiting all my life for this one moment. I've written several letters to my Congressman and was even coming up with an outline for my book on the subject. I was leaning towards the title, Bounty and Me.

But seriously, I just spent ten minutes of my life filling out a survey about paper towels and I can never get that time back. However, I'm only twenty points away from getting a combination nail-clipper/salad tongs item I've had my eye on for a long time.