Finally, Something the Whole Community Can Support...RIBS!

This weekend our family decided to see what all the fuss was about at our community's yearly RIB-FEST. Due to baseball/softball commitments or scheduled family vacations, we've never been able to go in years past and we were determined to go this time. When it was all over we came home with one neat memory. Our girls (11 and 9) got on the National Guard rock-climb and quickly strutted up to the top on all three sides to ring the bell. I'm not saying that our kids are better than other kids (but they are--deal with it!), but our girls made it look easy. Miss Sniz and I had no idea that our girls were part monkey (although it doesn't surprise me). We witnessed many other kids moving at a snail's pace up the wall and most did not make it to the top. The National Guard volunteers were so impressed that they signed them up for active duty.

Later that evening there were fireworks and we could see them from our back porch. All in all, it was a very nice day. However, as the fireworks were shooting off and we were "ooh-ing" and "ah-ing" I got to thinking about how strange this whole thing was. We just participated in an entire day devoted to...RIBS. We didn't go back and look at our community's history (there really isn't any to speak of, anyway) or remember our troops. We didn't pull together resources to help out those who are needy or have been afflicted by the recent floods. We didn't celebrate our heritage or even the birthday of a military hero or public servant. We celebrated RIBS in all their glory.

God Bless America!
God Bless Ribs!?!

Should I Kill the Wabbits?

I planted a garden this year. Actually, my nine year old first planted a garden this year. I tilled the soil and she planted watermelons, pumpkins, peppers, onions and cilantro--all seeds. She may have watered them a few times and then I took over. I planted nine tomato plants and at this time they're all looking to be very promising. However, we have been experiencing a bunny infestation in the neighborhood lately and I was a bit concerned about them finishing off my garden. So, I created my own fence and thought that would be the end of it. (Note: I'm pretty sure this picture only shows weeds in the garden, but you can see the fence.)

Boy was I mistaken. The other day, Miss Sniz came in and told me about the wabbit that had been sitting near my fence for a long time. I decided to check out the situation and as soon as he scampered away, I saw what he was up to...

I guess it's my fault for using a plastic fence instead of something like chicken wire. Just a few days ago, I saw two very large deer walking around the neighborhood in the morning. I can now see that I'm going to have some stiff competition if I plan on eating what I grow.

So, what to do about that wabbit?

(YouTube Warning: I cannot control what links for other videos pop up after you view this one. Sometimes I'm really surprised at what comes up as a "related" video. For instance, how is a video called, wifes thighs in nylon related to a Bugs Bunny short feature?)

Music Instructions or Printer Problems?

I saw this on our printer/fax machine/copier/scanner/waffle iron at work today. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to consult the owner's manual or if I was expected to play percussion at the end of the printing process...or song.

This Actually Happened Today

I'm sure I've posted quite a bit about driving over the years...

Driving In The Work Zone
Q-Tips Out the Window
Safe Travel on Interstates With Construction
I was RIGHT!!!!!
Stop Driving Like an Idiot
My Drive to Work Today
Chinook Helicopters and Trucks With Flames

...wow, I really have!

Over the years, I've been convicted some about driving the speed limit. I'm not totally whacked out about it. I'll admit that there are times when I drive fast, but it doesn't happen too much these days. On top of that, the price of gas is yet another motivator to drive slow. I get great gas mileage by slowing down and using my cruise control.

I also do my best not to annoy all of the selfish, idiot drivers who assume that they own the road. I've found that it's best to just let them get through because there's no reasoning with anyone when conversations (if you can really call them that) are limited to about two seconds as they speed by and usually consist of just a few hand gestures. That usually puts me in the right lane where I get along fine. 99 percent of the people that come up behind me figure out that I'm not going to go any faster and they go around me. That's how it's supposed to work. But every so often I get Mr. or Mrs. 1 Percent that just doesn't get it. They don't "get" the fact that I'm simply obeying the law and they don't "get" the fact that I'm staying in the right lane to allow everyone else through.

Today, while driving 55 mph in the right lane of I-465 (note that there are three lanes to the left of me) I had a black car pull up on my bumper and flash his lights as if he were on the German autobahn. If I were going to pull out of the way for him, which way was I supposed to go? Into the shoulder? Instead of the hand gesture that I wanted to show him, I just waved at him. He must have realized that I wasn't going to move so he pulled around me. As he buzzed by, I flashed my entire hand to him two times to symbolize the speed limit: FIVE - FIVE (i.e. 55 mph). He looked confused, at best. He was also at least EIGHT - FIVE (i.e. 85) years old and had a handicapped license plate.

Big Trouble for Little Kayellynnes

The other day the family and I were shopping for pants. We were in a bit of a hurry, but managed to hit two stores just to see who had the better deal (and it paid off--but who cares about that). So, as I'm walking about the men's section of Meijer I can hear some mother yelling at her daughter, "Kaelin, stop it. Get over here or you're gonna be in big trouble!" Or, something like that. The only real detail that I remember (and the only one that matters to this entry) is the Kaylin part...or Kaelyn.

Fifteen minutes later I'm buzzing around the men's shorts at Target (which I call "tar-ZJAY" to make it sound cool) when I see and hear a completely different person yelling, "Kalynn, stop it!! Stop it RIGHT NOW!!! Get back here, Caylen."

How strange that I'd witness two different Kailenn's getting in trouble in two different stores within fifteen minutes of each other. Then I got to thinking...I've got a Kaalin on my daughter's softball team. And we've played against other teams with Kaelynne's on their roster, too. When did the name Kayelinn get so popular, anyway? And why can't any of the parents get together to standardize the spelling of the name, Kayelun?

Google Maps Street View

Here's a nice picture of my house...

I'm not sure when it was taken. In fact, I'm not sure who took the picture. Actually, it's more like a video still image than a snapshot. It's all part of Google Maps' Street View feature.

If you haven't played around with it yet, you should. Basically, it's like driving around on a map and seeing what everything really looks like (i.e. at the time the pictures were taken). I suppose it freaks some people out just a bit, but I'm ok with it. Besides, I have a pet that keeps people away...

Third Eye Sniz

Most of the folks that read my blog also read my wife's blog. But did you all know that Miss Sniz has a third eye?


















She usually hides it with make-up or a baseball cap.

If Your Life Was a Movie

I'm not one to do these "memes" or whatever you call them, but I liked this one as it's right up my alley. Uvulapie posted it a few days ago on his blog. I'd challenge TKT to give it a whirl, as well as Chris the Worship Drummer. If you're into music and have lots of it--this one is for you...

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
Here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...
7. Include commentary

Opening Credits:
Big Bang Baby by Fluid Imbibers
The Fluid Imbibers are made up of me and Uvulapie (aka Jason). This song was written by Jason back in 1988(?) as his reaction to the theory of evolution. We recorded it, as we did most of the songs, in his bedroom using only the finest equipment (...that you can get for under twenty bucks at Radio Shack). The Kazoo solo here really makes the song and it would be a perfect way to start a movie.

Waking Up:
Time Has Told Me by Nick Drake
The late, great Nick Drake was one of the best virtually unknown singer-songwriters of the 60s and early 70s. This particular song would fit nicely in the "Waking Up" category for a movie score. If you've never heard of Nick Drake and you consider yourself to be a student of music, you need to stop what you're doing now (you can read the rest of this post later) and get your hands on some of his music. Some of his tracks may sound only slightly dated, but other cuts are at home in any decade. Ironically, his music is still used in movie soundtracks and commercials today.

First Day at School:
Crash and Burn by Cheryl Crow
I'm a sucker for Ms. Crow, but if this song were played in the soundtrack of my life while I skipped off to my first day at school, I'd probably end my life by eating poisoned tater tots. This song is just plain depressing.

Falling in Love:
Can't Keep It In by Cat Stevens
Wow! This is quite funny how this is working. This is an actual song about wanting the world to see how much in love you really are. Like him or not, Cat Stevens (known today as Yusuf Islam) had a unique voice and a very successful career with over 60 million albums sold.

Fight Song:
All the Way to Kingdom Come by Rich Mullins
This CD (the jesus record) still makes me sad. Rich Mullins was going to record these songs but only manged to lay down the demos before he will killed in a traffic accident in 1992. If you follow Christian Contemporary Music at all, you know who Rich Mullins was and you were probably touched by his life. I had the privilege of meeting him one time at an airport. We talked for about ten minutes about life and music and I'll never forget it. This song is a testimony to the love God has for us all the way to the end of the earth.

Breaking Up:
I'll Stick Around by Foo Fighters
Ok, this is getting weird. It's a breaking up song, but one of the parties in the break up has decided to "stick around." Technically, wouldn't that count as stalking? Anyway, the Foo Fighters continue to put out great music. Who would have thought that the real musical genius waiting to emerge from Nirvana was Dave Grohl? "I don't owe you anything! I don't owe you anything! I don't owe you anything!" Great stuff.

Prom:
Hold It Up To the Light by David Wilcox
There are at least two different men named David Wilcox who are recording artists. One is a blues man that hails from Canada and the other is my favorite singer-songwriter of all time. This is a song about making decisions--and he gives some good advice here. However, I'm not sure if he specifically talks about cummerbunds or bow ties.

Life's Ok:
Tether To Tassel by Lifesavers Underground
So far, I'm happy with my soundtrack and it's been totally random so far. This is one of my favorite songs. Even though I used the label "Christian Contemporary Music" (or CCM) earlier to describe an artist, I hate that term. Music is music and it should be left to stand on it's own. Lifesavers Underground (also known as "Lifesavers" or "LSU") was a rare CCM band that could stand on their own. Of course, since they were a "Christian" band no one would ever get the chance to hear them unless the concert was held at a church or coffee house.

Mental Breakdown:
For a Moment by Ron Sexsmith
Most of my favorite singer-songwriters have been represented so far. And once again this song fits perfectly with the subject. Ron Sexsmith's voice is SMOOOOOOOTH and he's a gifted musician.

Driving:
Across the Sea by Weezer
Well, at least it's a song about travel--sort of. Actually, it's a song about a band member receiving a letter from an underage female fan in Japan. It's about forbidden love and temptation. "I could never touch you. I think it would be wrong. I've got your letter. You've got my song." Weezer has a raw, live sound that I've always appreciated. Their subject matter is not for everyone (sometimes not even for me) but I respect their craft and totally dig their sound.

Flashback:
The Lucky One by Freedy Johnston
No, it's not "Freddy Johnson." The man's real name is Freedy Johnston and he's yet another one of my favorite singer-songwriters--and yet I've never seen him live. I need to rectify that sometime. Back in the day, he sold everything he had to move to New York to make it as a musician. My guess is that he's not rich, but at least he's making a living doing what he loves. Freedy's voice is unmistakable once you've heard it.

Getting Back:
Sometime by King's X
King's X is a "band's band". Back in the mid to late 80's every musician listened to them. They were destined to make it big with a sweet deal from Atlantic Megaforce records but it never happened. They've remained incredibly obscure but with a loyal fan base (people like me). I've seen them change over the years (e.g. lifestyles and political views) but they are still one of the most creative three-piece bands to ever play. If you like progressive rock you'll love this.

Wedding:
Plague of Flies by Lifesavers Underground
Here's the first repeat band on the soundtrack. Of course, if I would have insisted on playing "Plague of Flies" in my actual wedding, I'm pretty sure my wife would have left me. It's too bad, because the song really rocks my socks off.

Birth of Child:
If I Could by Seal
All you have to remember about Seal is that most of his CDs are titled "Seal". I guess it's just easier that way. Actually, you should also remember that Seal makes great music. His style fits the "Lite Rock" radio format to a tee but he has real talent and a soulful voice. According to Wikipedia (always a reliable source) his real name is Seal Henry Olusegun Olumide Adeola Samuel and he's married to supermodel Heidi Klum.

Final Battle:
Jesus on the Radio by Guster
No, this is not a CCM band. Guster is a talented three-piece band from Boston. They make regular appearances on Late Night with Conan O'Brien and probably make a good living.

Death Scene:
Don't Ask Me How I Feel by The Swirling Eddies
The Swirling Eddies were the bad boys of CCM (which sounds silly, I know). They're members of other bands, studio musicians, producers, songwriters, etc. who decided to get together to record some songs. Their first two CDs were actually produced on a "major" Christian label. I can only guess that they had some embarrassing pictures of record label executives from the Christmas party or something. If you can get your hands on Let's Spin or Outdoor Elvis, be sure to give them a spin.

Funeral Song:
About Mrs. Leslie by Galactic Cowboys
These boys were contemporaries of Kings X back in the day. It's one thing to make loud music, but to make loud, technically challenging music with incredible harmonies is quite another task. This would make for a very odd funeral song.

End Credits:
Pencil Rain by They Might Be Giants
Amazingly, most of my favorite bands were randomly played during this exercise (and I'm getting tired of this post). TMBG is considered by many to be a novelty act, but their staying power and unique style is enough to put that notion aside. Every band can sing about love, cars and sex but TMBG takes the time to ponder pencils, toupees, metal detectors--real stuff. I love "the Johns."

P.S. If my life was a movie, it would be one of those straight-to-video kind or the kind that you'd walk out on only minutes into it.