Spongebob Obamapants

Here in the Big Doofus household (great name for a household, right?) we love Spongebob Squarepants. I can remember many years ago when Uvulapie keyed me in on this show before it became the institution that it is today. And despite it's popularity, we still love the show. It's one of the few mindless things that we'll have on for the entire family so that means Nickelodeon is on quite a bit.

Nickelodeon has plenty of shows that we don't care for, but at least they remain politically neutral...right? Well, that's what I thought until they had a group of kids with Nickelodeon microphones come on with a remote they did from the innauguration. They talked about how significant it was that America had elected it's first African American President...and I agree. It's a huge deal regardless of where you stand politically. I thought the little Nick news report was fine, until the kids started chanting "OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA!" Is that crossing the line?

The Subservient Chicken

Back in 2004 Burger King launched a new chicken sandwich called the BK Tendercrisp. It's a novel idea because it's a chicken sandwich that actually tastes good. With the launch they decided to do something completely different in order to promote the new product. They hired the services of Crispin Porter + Bogusky (actually, they may have hired them well before this campaign, I have no idea). CP+B is one of the most creative advertising agencies on the planet. Just give their site a look to see what they've come up with in the past years. Much of it you will recognize.

CP+B came up with the Subservient Chicken web site. Today, there are many great examples (and annoying examples) of online advertising that gets your attention and builds awareness. But back in 2004 this was cutting edge creative content. In fact, I'd go so far to say that the Subservient Chicken is still a great example of advertising that goes above and beyond...but enough about that (unless you're a marketing & PR professional like me who cares about this kind of stuff).

So go check out the site (it's still there after all these years) and tell that chicken what to do. Supposedly there are some 400 commands that have been recorded. If you run out of your own ideas, feel free to take a look at my comments for this post. You might also share the ones that you like best.

Hmmmm....a BK Tendercrisp sounds pretty good (see all of that advertising really works).

The Ringtone Movie

For today's blog entry, I decided to make a movie based on something that actually happened to me.

Enjoy!

Happy 500th, John!

2009 marks the 500th birthday of John Calvin. I'd venture to say that Calvin had the biggest impact on Theology in the past 500 years than anyone. Brash? Passionate about the word of God? Misunderstood? Sure. But his body of work is amazing. Find out for yourself. Follow along with a complete reading of the Institutes by going to the Princeton Theological Seminary. You can even download the readings on your iPod.

Surprise Car Deal

Chances are that most of you have seen or heard ads for Kia Motors advertising their "buy one car, get another for free" deal. The company and their dealerships have been doing this in various forms for the past few years and it's created quite a buzz. In some iterations of the deal, you buy Kia's most expensive car, fully loaded and you get the cheapest car at no cost. However, you were still required to pay taxes on the second vehicle. Honestly, that's not necessarily a bad deal as even game show contestants have to pay taxes on a car when it's given to them. Don't blame Kia for that one--blame the government.

But the most recent version I heard on the radio does seem to have a catch. While a television or print ad has actual fine print that you can read (provided you have a high-powered magnifying glass or you managed to record the tv comercial on your DVR), a radio ad has the announcer reading these details at a frantic pace. So, at the end of the Kia ad that I heard this morning, the announcer is rambling off the details so fast that I cannot hear most of what he's saying--except this one, minor detail:

"Price of single car includes second car."

I wish I would have written it down word for word because I'm sure that I'm paraphrasing--but only slightly. That's the jist of it. You're not really buying one car and then getting the second car for free. You're buying both cars when you buy the one car. Technically speaking, it's not really a "buy one and get another one free" deal. It's more like a "buy two when you think you're buying just one and then we give you the second one to make you feel good...since you've already paid for it, anyway."

Now that's the Power to Surprise!

EDIT: I just heard the radio ad again while sitting at my desk. So, I can now safely give you the words from the "fine print" verbatim:

Price of one car includes another.

Time for a Math Break

Practically no strenuous activity since mid November
Three hours of football on Saturday
+ Two hours of roller skating on Sunday
------------------------------------------------------

Aching arms, legs and back that
only move via momentum

Skyline with Snip

If you live anywhere near Cincinnati, then you know about Skyline Chili. In addition to Ohio, they have locations in southern Indiana, Central Indiana, Kentucky and Florida. I guess it's an acquired taste because this is not what most Americans think of with regards to "chili."

Real chili has big chunks of beef and it's spicy hot, right? Real chili has beans, too...right? You don't put pasta in real chili...right? This could be the biggest debate on Big Doofus Blog since the Coney Dog vs. Chili Dog post nearly a year ago. I still get comments on that post from people doing Google searches. And in case you're wondering, that's Jason's face from Uvulapie and His Amazing Accordion that I Photoshopped into the hot dog costume. But I digress...

Skyline Chili has no beans (but you can add them). The ground beef is practically pureed before it goes into the chili--and I think they actually boil it before it goes in (Skyline afficionados will probably comment later). And the spices? I'm pretty sure it's cinnamon but there are uban legends suggesting things like chocolate (but it's not chocolate). It originated in Cincinnati by Greek immigrants and got it's name from the city's skyline.

Needless to say, Skyline Chili is different. It's not for everyone, but it's for enough people to make it a regional success. I love it and I was convinced that my son would love it, too, as we have similar tastes when it comes to spicy foods. But he doesn't care for it. My middle daughter (Bird) hates it. The wife (Miss Sniz) shares these feelings of hate and disgust with Bird. I thought I was all on my own...until little ten year old Snip came down and tasted it. I never offered it to her because I never dreamed that she'd like it. To my amazement (and to Miss Sniz's amazement) she loved it.

Since we have "special nights" where one of our kids gets to do something with mom and/or dad, a Skyline trip was planned. Last night she and I made it to the restaurant on the Northwest side of Indianapolis (we need a west side location!). While most stores are run like a restaurant, this store has you order at the counter and you bring your food with you back to the tables (and yet there was still a place for the "tip" on the receipt). Snip had the 3-way chili (chili, spaghetti noodles & cheese--tons of cheese) kids meal and I had the 4-way (same thing, but with onions or beans and I chose onions) and a "cheese coney" which is really a "chili coney" but I don't want to get into that again.

The chili was tasty and we had lots of conversations about Build-a-Bears, condensation and what it is that a store in town called "Tasty's Gift Factory" sells--but that's another post.

On Grace and Kidneys

My alternate title for this post is...

I Want My Kidneyback, Kidneyback, Kidneyback (sung to the tune from the Chili's babyback ribs commercial)


Dr. Richard Batista is in the middle of a divorce and wants his kidney back from his wife (or the 1.5 million dollar equivalent). This story will be a hit this evening with talk show hosts like Dave Letterman, Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien. It will also make great material for Comedy Centrals' Colbert Report and The Daily Show With Jon Stewart. Tune in to see.

But it's also petty and quite sad. First off, another marriage (with kids) has ended in divorce. There are accusations of extra-marital affairs. And now the soon-to-be ex-husband is taking his case to the public to sling some mud. If this man was betrayed by his wife he has every right to be upset, but asking for a kidney back is quite another thing.

He said he gave his kidney to Dawnell Batista, now 44, in June 2001. She filed for divorce in July 2005, although he claims she began having an extramarital affair 18 months to two years after receiving the kidney transplant, his attorney, Dominick Barbara said....

Batista, 49, said he has no regrets about donating the kidney, only about the failed marriage. The couple was married in 1990 and lived in a million-dollar home in Massapequa. They met while he was working at a hospital and she was training to be a nurse.

He still recalls the day after the surgery took place. "There is no greater feeling on this planet. As God is my witness, I felt as if I could put my arm around Jesus Christ. It was an unbelievable; I was walking on a cloud. To this day I would still do it again."

Would he REALLY do it again? Sure, for a cool $1.5 million--but technically speaking, that would leave him without any kidneys to call his own. Jesus Christ gave us both of His kidneys, and his lungs, and his liver, his spleen, his heart, his blood. He was pierced for our transgressions. He never asked for anything back in return.